Thursday, September 13, 2012

The problem with not stopping to smell the roses

I switched jobs early this summer (half voluntarily, half not) and a fair amount of stress came with that. Particularly because I never took time off in between various school phases to get to know myself. I went straight from high school to college to law school to business school. In that time, I never studied overseas, never made any serious mistakes, never really learned much about myself beyond my career focus. So when the job situation doesn't go exactly according to plan, I have no perspective.

If there are any college kids out there, I cannot stress how essential it is to take time away from school to travel and/or to work (even a McJob). I'll soon be exiting my 20s and while I generally try not to live in would've/could've/should've-land, I do allow myself the regret of not taking time to enjoy my young adulthood.

I started therapy at the beginning of August and am, I think, starting to step back and learn about myself - beyond my career. Life is precious and far too short (sometimes tragically so). The theme of our blog is "Women who have almost as much nail polish as they do education." If there are any readers that are like us, don't forget to actually live a life worth living.

Here are a bunch of swatches that don't deserve their own post.

China Glaze - Moody Blue

(5 coats)

Worst of both worlds - sticky and sheer.

China Glaze - Peachy Keen

(2 coats)

Love this on my toes.

Misa - Dirty Sexy Money

(2 coats)

This is such a great color and such a fabulous formula. But I feel so ho hum about it - I must be reallllllly over turquoise.

Like this? Click below to let us know!


aaminahs mom said...

Sorry to hear that, I always wondered what that phrase meant, since education can come from many place. I thought you guys were kinda snobby.Then I kept reading your blog.Anyway I am a student(ft) at 47yrs..I have been married/divorced,employed and unemployed. I am saying that to express live your life~cuz when you dead you are done. Congrads on the step to personal empowerment, stay encouraged. PEACE

Fitzy said...

Thank you for the advice. I am actually a college student who is maybe spending a little too much time enjoying life and not enough time being a student... I wish you the best of luck! It's good that you're in therapy too. That helps me as well.

Epic Nail Time said...

I am so sorry you are feeling regret about not taking time for yourself, but grateful for your advice. I am currently in that phase, almost stuck in finding myself. Working in the arctic after my degree in a job that is unrelated. I enjoy it a lot, but know it is time to go back to school soon. I hope you know that just because you are exiting your twenties, there is still plenty of time for travel and learning about yourself. Its not too late to take some time now :)

On another note, Peachy keen is a beautiful colour on you :)

ilexica said...

Urgh, Piff, I have this fear all the time. The worst of it is I have actively turned down those experiences to have fun because of a sense of responsibility. I don't resent doing so because I can usually find good things out of anything, but I always worry that one day, I'll look back and hate myself for it. Anyway. Hope the therapy helps you work out where you want to be and if I can ever do anything, drop me a line. Always happy to talk :)

The Lacquered Lady said...

My parents were strong advocates of having a full and balanced life since I was a child. I greatly appreciate that, especially now that I am working on my dissertation. I didn't take time off between college and the PhD, but that was a good choice for me. I had a similar dilemma like you earlier this month when deciding when to go home for break. I finally said "screw it, I'm going home for the entire month." When else in my adult life will I be able to go home for an entire month?!

Anyways, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Please try not to beat yourself up. Life doesn't have to be linear - its your choice. At least you are realizing what you really need now. You can change things, even if it just means doing something spontaneous on a weekend. Also, I hope therapy goes well. It is good that you are being proactive to help change the things both external and internally that are detracting from your life satisfaction.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your advice! I think I'm like you (with a little less education), but I like to stick to the plan I've made for myself. I recently graduated, and got my first (postgrad) job a week or so ago. I'm still having a hard time because it is completely different than the kind of job I had planned to get, but I had to take it because I know it could be a while before I get another offer. So I understand how hard it is to have to change, especially if you're not excited about the change. Sorry you have to go through this! But I'm glad you're taking the time to adjust and come out a better person rather than just being perpetually angry or frustrated - which, I know, is so easy to fall into. Good luck!!!! :)

Grace said...

My god, you are so not alone. I felt the same way after finishing my PhD. I did work for 3 years between undergrad and my PhD program, but never even took vacation. I knew I was heading back to grad school, so all I did was scrimp and save. Then when I was in school and really broke, all I could think was "I should have enjoyed that income a little more when I had the chance."

Now I'm 31 and on a tenure clock, and good lord, it just never ends. I know I'm supposed to be buying a house and having kids, but what I really want to do is take a long and meandering vacation through Europe, just my husband and I, before the rest of my life passes by being spent doing "responsible grown up things". I can only advise everyone to do the same.

You guys out there in your 20's: Do some fun stuff and make some mistakes! You'll actually regret it far more if you *don't*.

Piff said...

I'm so glad to hear from people in similar situations!

Aahminahs - "when you dead you are done." truer words, never spoken.

Fitzy - Don't worry, you're doing it right!

Epic - "there is still plenty of time for travel and learning about yourself" I hope this is true!

ilexica - I so appreciated your e-mail!

LL - thanks for the sage advice.

squirrel - such a tough position to be in. to have to do something you're not psyched about doing.

Grace - lol yay! comrade in arms! TAKE THAT VACATION!!!

Anna Elizabeth said...

Oh man do I ever relate. I am currently on track to have 2 masters degrees by the time I'm 25 and I sometimes worry that I'm missing out on my 20's. Don't be too hard on yourself though and remember that the grass is always greener- my neighbor is a 28 year old man child who constantly parties and always come to me to say "Oh my God I have to get my life together," so the opposite extreme is bad too.

Mnemo said...

Lol, do I relate! 2 masters degrees, a PhD and a job in law later, I found myself on a therapist's couch with a burn-out and the realisation that I've always hated law... Now this mommyhater and career woman is enjoying her pregnancy leave and saying Screw It to her inner perfectionist. :) Good luck to you, there's light at the end of the tunnel! Take it from someone who's been there.:)

ALM said...

I just had to comment. I've been reading this blog and loving it for a couple years now. I was in school for an even 20 years from pre-school to MA. All I had ever wanted from a young age was to be a professor, but I ended up HATING grad school. In the program I was in, teaching was looked down on and we were supposed to be obsessed with ourselves and our research. I ran screaming and had no idea what I'd do with my life. The non-academic world was even worse for me, so I found my way back and am now full-time faculty at a community college-the right place for me to be. As someone posted above, the salary is low and there is no downtime, ever, but follow your star and you will get where you need to be. This blog is wonderful because it lets me know I am not alone in being a 32-year-old publishing academic still in hot pursuit of the perfect red linear holo.

Jammies said...

*hugs Piff* Good on you for starting therapy and evaluating your life. It sure isn't easy!

Barbara said...

I never thought about taking the time to have a break actually o.O I always thought that summer vacation would be a break...hahaha. I'm only a freshman in college, but I'm in a pre pharmacy program at Purdue so that'll take around 6-7 years -_-
let's hope i get to know myself well :D

Kate said...

Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. As annoying as it is, the old adage of 'this too shall pass' is absolutely spot on. Perspective is something that comes with time. Unlike you, I went to travelling and lived overseas after I finished law school. I ended up being away for three years. Once I got back all my uni friends were progressing nicely in their careers whereas I was yet to start mine. I ended up in the worst depressive funk and used to worry about the damage I may have done to my prospects constantly. Thankfully just getting on with living itself brings perspective. Starting my masters also helped. But perspective comes with time. Now I am so thankful that I took that time out to travel and live and work overseas. It is an experience so many never get the chance to have, and whilst whirlwind trips overseas on your annual leave are fun they are not the submersible, all-encompassing experience that living and working in a city everyday brings. At the end of a life, the end of a career what is a year, three years, or five years out doing something different, exciting, enriching even if it is not related in any way to your ultimate profession. It's called living. Good luck with it and have a ball. xx

Piff said...

I love that there are so many ladies out there that relate to what I'm saying! I hope we can learn from each other and continue to feel the love and support from our community :)

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