Now, before the nail wheel, I have some thoughts I wanted to share. As you know, I recently got married and I have decided to change my last name to his. Many of my feminist friends find this decision to be wrong, which led me to question why? The reason I'm changing my last name is not because I feel I have to but because I personally detest the last name I was born with. I associate my maiden name with some very negative family experiences and I'm ready to give it up.
So does this make me a bad feminist? Does indulging in activities or actions traditionally associated with being a submissive female, even if done for different reasons, make a female a "bad" feminist?
If it does in this case then I guess I just don't care. I'd rather share my last name with a man that I love rather than a family member who caused me an inordinate amount of pain.
Now on to cheerier things!
This nail wheel represents the more recent greens on the market.
(CLICK on the picture to make it larger!)
(Sorry for the blurriness in the lower left corner...there was a smudge on my camera lens.)
As you can see, each color is different. If you're not a nail polish addict like me, you might not need all of them. Hopefully this will help you make some decisions about which ones to buy!! If you have any specific questions leave a comment and I'll try to get back to you asap!
Some other recent green nail polishes that I do not yet have are:
BB Couture Poison Ivy
MAC Beyond Jealous
Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Blackboard
I hope to get these soon and add them to the wheel!
Thanks so much for reading and don't forget to enter the BB Couture for Men giveaway!! :)
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9 comments:
First off... You have nothing to be nervous about. Grad school is a lot of fun. Even if you're shy (like me), there are lots of friendly people who are less so and they'll take the stress out of you pretty quickly. It's exciting. I guarantee it!
Second, congratulations (again). :) So many exciting things happening all at once for you! That's awesome. :)
As far as changing your name goes, I have a difficult time reconciling the idea that there are "good" feminists and "bad" feminists or that anybody should dictate to you how you ought to live your life. There is no feminist manifesto (though admittedly there are some influential thinkers), so who's to say what's ultimately right?
Part of my own feminist thinking involves the idea that I can assert my right to choose. It doesn't matter what I choose, it matters that the choice is mine and mine alone. In my own case, I have never had any plans to take the last name of a s/o. However, this has less to do with any feminist leanings and more to do with the fact that I'm particularly attached to my name and the identity it has imbued. Many uninformed acquaintances have labelled this as a demonstration of staunch feminist principles when that has little to do with it. I don't really bother correcting anyone though. It's my name; it's my choice and I think it's fair to extend that right to you.
...Do you have a favourite green?
I think it's definitely anti-feminist is to EXPECT women to change their names upon marriage: to me, it's a personal choice (that can be made at any time in one's life, really). I also think it's unenlightened to think it ludicrous when women keep their own names, when men take their wives' names or when partners either combine or create a new family name. But what you do with your own name is your business. Some people like the way their married names sound, or enjoy tradition, or don't want to deal with "confusion". Whatever, people have their reasons.
Personally, if I end up marrying my SO, I do not plan to take his name: partially because it's my name and my history and it's spotted and sometimes painful but it's MINE. :D But also because I will have published at least 3 articles (I hope) under that name. I already have a professional identity, small as it may be, and I don't feel like dealing with the "confusion" of not having my work ascribed to me. :)
I love your greens you have lots I want but don't have yet!
I think you should fallow your heart and the people you care for you will be supportive no matter what!
good luck tomorrow! :-)
thanks for the green wheel comparison!
personaly, I don't see much diference if you keep your maiden name (which is most of the times the family name of yor FATHER - a man) or change it to your husband's last name - again, a man ;-) anyway - the fact that you can choose is what important... and that if you choose not to change your last name, it's still acceptable and not causing problems. do whatever feels right to you.
I'm new to to following this blog, but I have really been enjoying the posts, I have to say.
First of all, congrats on going back to school, and as a choice, I think Scrangie will definitely give you some confidence AND some distraction, should you get distressed, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
Secondly, congratulations on getting married! This particular part of the post hit home, my mother is a "feminist" and my experiences with my whole family definitely influenced my decision NOT to keep my last name, since my husband is, for all intents and purposes, my sole family at this point, as well as being a full fledged partner I have no regrets - he's given me more joy in ten years of marriage. It more than makes up for the denigration and abuse, both mental and physical, that I had to endure from my so-called family. I'm quite proud to bear his name instead. I also find it is a personal choices as a woman to either keep your own name or take your husband's name. As I don't have to worry about previous books, papers, articles or anything of that nature, it wasn't something to consider in making that choice. I also am one that believes that being a feminist, we do have a choice, not an obligation, to take our partner's name, and that's the beauty of it.
At any rate - as both an addict to polish and a lover of green, I can see a difference in all these polishes, so I would need them because of that. Haha. Maybe not for the infrequent polisher, but ah well. This is a helpful picture!
Belated congratulations on going back to school!
As for the name issue: it's your life, it's your choice. If anything means feminism to me (as a stone, die-hard, life-long feminist), it's the concept of choice. I didn't take my husband's name, even though I too had painful experiences in my past, because I had made the name mine. I'm also very attached to the lineage of ranchers that come with the name. I didn't want to be an "husband's name," it would have felt to me like being absorbed into his tribe. And that was my choice.
Love the green wheel. Green is my favorite of all the polish colors.
And I love this blog to pieces!
Thank you all SO MUCH for these amazing comments!!! I love that so many strong women read this blog and are willing to share their thoughts with us! It reminds me what feminism is all about - encouraging and supporting all women, no matter what their choices or experiences are.
I can't wait for more discussions!! :)
Congrats on your marriage and further education. I've always been a feminist. Not the man hating type. Everyone has rights in this world. No one should be forced or ridiculed into changing a name or acting a certain way. It infuriates me when a majority whats you to do things their way. That usually makes me go in the opposite direction. When you love someone you make decisions together. I think taking your husbands name is a decision you should make with each other. No one else should add their opinions. Your the only one who knows how you feel. There are many reasons to keep a name or change to a spouses. Many that I've read here. It's a very interesting subject. I can see both sides of the argument. I'm a Libra and that's one of my traits. It all comes down to personal choice. I also always wanted to burn my bra. I can't, you don't want to see what would happen if I did! I love green polishes. I usually buy them all if I can. I'm trying right now not to buy polishes that are very close in color. I have too many that are close in color and it's very annoying to me. I love BB Couture's green. I own everyone that they sell. My favorite green and polish is Poison Ivy. Thanks for the wheel and the forum.
Late to the party as usual, that's me. I went through this BS nearly 18 years ago and while I identify as feminist I sure don't understand how the same women that decry the dictates of 'masculine society' can then turn around and demand we follow theirs. As Inbal pointed out, the name you start with is from a man anyway. So to all those bossy, interfering feminists I say 'Bite it ladies.'. To you I say Congratulations! And thanks for the lemming for #3, lol.
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