Friday, September 25, 2009

Reader Request: China Glaze Cloud 9, or "The Story of a How I de-Ruined a New Polish"

China Glaze Cloud 9 (new and improved version, you'll read about why)

Close up of China Glaze Cloud 9
I think this is a really pretty polish: opalescent copper round and square glitter suspended in a milky jelly. It's not blingy: it doesn't burn from within but it glimmers playfully and I don't have a polish like it. And, I daresay, not even China Glaze does... because I had to do some adjusting to the formula before it became wearable.

Yesterday evening, I sat down to do some swatching. Tried doing my normal coats, which are not that thin. Gooped it right off the nail. Riiight. I didn't feel like dealing with it so I put it aside and did other polishes. This morning, I go back to Cloud 9 and try to do the thinnest coats ever. Less gooping off the nail but clumpy, bumpy and uneven and... it kind of looks like umm... partially dried male ejaculate... with glitter. ....ewwww.

Anyway, I forgot to resize the photos so... if you want to see REALLY big pics of these (which will give you a better idea of how this polish is, click on the pic itself for the original version).

China Glaze Cloud 9, unadulterated

It had no gloss, no shine. And all that pretty glitter was almost swallowed up by the white polish which was thick and sticky. I was about to toss it in the sale/swap pile when I decided to see if I couldn't make it look a little bit better. I poured out about a fifth of the polish, poured in Wet n Wild Clear (which is such a smooth clear, I love it for frankening) and added a whole pipette of polish thinner. The idea was: the clear would dilute the white, making it more jelly (which lets the glitter show through) and the polish thinner would take care of the stickiness.

The result is the first picture I posted for this entry. It's not a VAST improvement, but it's an improvement. The white jelly is more even, the glitter shows through far more, the polish now has a glossy finish and it is about ten times easier to apply. It still doesn't apply as evenly as I would want though. I'm thinking of adding more clear later.

More pics of adulerated China Glaze Cloud 9, including a closeup:

All in all, I do not recommend this polish. I happen to really like it after "ruining" a brand new polish... but no one should have to "improve" brand new things! It's just the principle of it. :P

Excuse the horribly dry cuticles. I don't know what's going on with them...

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Lucy said...

Thank you for that "delightful" description! I will always think of this as the Cloud 9 ejaculate polish when I use it. Haha! Thanks for the laugh that I sorely needed.

mKat said...

It was only a matter of time before something on here was compared to male ejaculate. (I would have gone with the "colour" of Essie's Matte About You...) Anybody with ejaculate as chunky as Cloud 9 should probably get to a doctor. :P

flinty said...

mKat: especially if it glitters!

Lucy: I aim to please. Or, you know, gross people out. Sometimes even both at the same time.

jellynat said...

That newly improved glittering super sperm looks cool. But I don't feel like fixing a brand new polish really, so I'll skip. Oh and I like your high-colored description flinty, it please me more than it gross me out, actually!

daydream222 said...

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one to look at polishes and think that they things. lol. :P

Helen (Nice Things) said...

Hahaha "partially dried male ejaculate". Brilliant.

And how did I only just discover this wonderful blog? You have a new follower :)

flinty said...

jellynat: I'm going to rename this polish Glittering Super Sperm; that totally cracked me up. And I wouldn't have bought this if I knew I'd have to "fix" it. So... you can all learn from my mistake? :)

daydream: It depends on the polish...

Helen: Hi!! we're only a couple of months old so still pretty unknown as of yet. :)

Deborah said...

As I am still new to polish blogs, I've been going through the archives. And I have to admit that I literally almost spit out my mouthful of rice (eating lunch) when I read the ejaculate comment. Brilliant! And so true....much improved with the adjustments you made. But see, now I'll HAVE to get this polish, just to call it the Super Sperm Polish!

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