Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sticks & Stones - Thumb Accent Mani


When I wore this mani, I got insulted for it. And honestly, it really hurt my feelings. I didn't think it would - I'm usually pretty confident about my fashion and life choices. But it stung.

Essie Pound Cake with OPI Spark de Triomphe thumb:


My labmate (who is consistently seriously rude to me) saw my mani, grabbed my thumb, gasped and made a face, then said:

"Are you kidding me with this?! That is so high school."

I guess it hurt because the implication was that it was tacky - and I really don't like or want to be tacky. I tend to be more reserved in my fashion choices and I like it. Hell, I even think of my fashion sense as classy. So I think that is why her words hit me like that.

But - sticks & stones, right? I've decided to believe that her insults stem from jealousy - this seems to be the common thread in most of her put-downs. I have tried to stay above it by never saying anything negative or mean to her, but it hasn't really worked.

Why must women be so cruel to each other?

kittytokaren


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72 comments:

Whitney @ ElementalStyles said...

Psh! What a B--I like this! She probably IS jealous of you, usually people aren't mean without an underlying reason. Keep your head up, girl!

LostEmilie said...

I have to admit I am also no fan of thumb accents but still the comment was rude.

Noelie said...

My momma taught me that if I don't have anything nice to say, you just don't say anything at all. I'll never understand people who feel like it's ok to just blurt out whatever they're thinking with no regard for the other person's feelings.

Of course, based on what you've said about her before, I'm pretty sure the comment was intended to hurt you anyway. It's hard to not let comments like that sting, especially when you've just stepped outside your comfort zone to try something new... it's like being slapped right back down.

I know it's hard, but keep your chin up, sweetie. You can't please all the people all the time, and I don't think you'd really want to please her anyway! ((hugs))

Hellcat47 said...

Wow... how rude! I guess her mother never told her if she has nothing nice to say... you know the rest! Anyways, I think this is adorable! I definitely need to try this on my next mani. Pound Cake is such a gorgeous color!

emilee said...

Does every work environment always have to have that one nasty girl? lol
I noticed you said "lab mate"- I work in a lab too! Any tips for keeping your manicure safe in the lab environment? Mine ALWAYS chip so fast when I'm doing bench work!

Une Ruxi à Paris said...

What is wrong with this lab partner of yours?
I think it looks great.

Courtney said...

UGH! Sounds like total jealousy to me. F her. Your mani looks FAB!! :-D

Varnish Vixen said...

Well I love this! Beautiful classy nude with just enough sparkle on the thumb to make it interesting and stylish...NOT tacky!

This girl sounds like she's probably jealous of you or insecure. Really, why else would she be trying to tear you down?

I hope you can get a new partner, though. Working alongside someone like that can really make an okay job miserable (I know!). :(

On a side note: my mom just asked about a perfect nude and I wasn't sure what to recommend, so thanks for reminding me about Pound Cake. It looks perfect for her!

Laura @ Sawan-Heaven said...

Wow! What a jerk! I love accent nails, and I think the bit of bling looks fun. Next time you should go all out and blind her!

Grace said...

Good of you to take the high road. I would have told her that snotty unprompted remarks about other people are pretty "high school", too, not to mention bad manners. Then I'd wear nothing but thumb accent manis for at least 2 weeks, and wave my hands around in her face a whole lot when we spoke. Your nails are fabulous. The internet says so!

ommorphiabeautybar.com said...

Who gives a rat's ass what this lab partner of yours (who has some serious insecurity issues) says? Even though words can sting, just remember that if your mani makes you happy (and for the record, I think it is inspired - subtlety with a hint of bling...genius!!) then that's all that matters. Stop making any efforts to be nice to this cretin and just live! It's a fun and happy look!

SalvagedExpression said...

If she doesn't care about your feelings then she doesn't care about you. Therefore she's just talking about herself. (She seems to be saying that she's a b**** who is too scared to do something like that herself but translations may vary!)
I tend to dress conservatively myself since I'm introverted and don't like to draw attention most of the time. I think nails are a great way to express the wilder side of my style and if anyone notices they're something I am prepared to have a conversation about.

Alison said...

Wow, what a terrible thing to do! Even if someone just grabbed my hand like that I'd be pissed, not to mention the nasty comment afterwards. I get a lot of remarks on my nails and I'm pretty sure most people think they're long and glittery and tacky, but honestly I couldn't care less and you shouldn't either! I think this manicure looks fabulous, so just own it!

SalvagedExpression said...

Oh and to translate my own comment: Go on with your bad self!

Dot and Lil said...

why, oh why, would she think it was ever ok to say that? If you ask me, she has some serious self-confidence issues. I like the thumb!

olga said...

What a dork! I think you should keep your distance from this person, nothing good will ever come out from socializing with her. It's a cute manicure, you're application is flawless, and if one thing sets apart high school and grown-ups nails it's the application.

Ariel Braverman said...

I really love the color combo. I think it's the exact right amount and shade of sparkle.

(Also if that manicure is "so high school," then high school has gotten a lot more sophisticated than when I was there. That is one chic manicure..."

Susy said...

That was so rude! I don't understand why people have to act like that, even if I didn't like someones nails I'd keep to myself. She's not worth your time, sounds like she has issues.
Anyway, I don't think your mani looks tacky, I think it's cute and I like it! :)

Carissa Anderson said...

don't even worry about her. i think it looks amazing and actually, with the color combo, pretty classy. your rude co-worker might have a leg to stand on if it was neon green and orange with purple sparkles, but it's not. wear it proudly!!

HappytPumpkin said...

I love your sparkles. Its very elegant.
Whenever my sister-in-law sees my creatively done up nails she tells me I have to much time on my hands and that I should have children like her. First, shes probably just jealous because she has kids and doesn't have time for it herself. Second, when I have kids, I still plan on taking time for myself and plan to continue doing my nails.

Bunny said...

I love your manicure; your labmate has a chip on her shoulder. As I tell my daughters (late twenties) ignore the jackasses when they bray. You are young, beautiful and brainy: Carpe Diem! When you're old and gray, you will have plenty of time for conservative manicures.

beachgal said...

To each his/her own I guess. I bet if you came back next class with a new mani and used SdeT along the very top edge like a French with say a fabulous magenta color (thinking Flash Bulb Fuchsia by OPI), she would be grabbing your hands and saying how amazing it looked!

Em said...

What is your labmate talking about?!?!?! I LOVE the combo!

hannagrrl said...

"That is so high school." ....LIKE HER COMMENT!

What a B****. I'd have slapped her in the face. I hope you can get away from her poisonous attitude soon!

dameliac nails said...

I think this is adorable!!! The sparkly gold is perfect with the creamy pink :)

Eliza said...

I never even thought of doing a thumb accent before. That was definitely not happening in MY high school. I love it!

Caitlyn said...

can't you change your lab partner? ... I had to put up with a "colleague" like that for 4 years *rollseyes* she even told downright lies about my work and her work, like when something wasn't done, it was my fault and when something was well done, it was her who did it.

can you imagine that? ...

I also was always friendly and polite to her and never made mean comments or told lies about her or searched her drawers - which she did with mine.

You know, even thinking back at those times makes me angry, right now while I'm writing this.

I've always been a polite person who does not want arguments or fights or a bad environment, but honestly, I think with this b**** I should have made all hell break lose, just for once. So just for once she got back what she did to others, only once ...

Now, on to your mani *gg* I am used to the ringfinger as accent finger, but the thumb is fine, too. Essie Pound Cake looks so nice and clean that I am considering getting it myself, though I'm really not a fan of those pale pinks.
The glitter looks fabulous and it's a new OPI!

I BET - yes, in caps - that she is dead jealous of you, would never dare wearing such beautiful colors (or tried and failed ^^) and she is trying to make you feel miserable with such comments, because she envies you.

So .... well, it depends on what you are able to take .. I personally think it's better to ignore someone like that and I did it for 4 years ... but sometimes, just sometimes, telling those people what you think of them and leaving them speechless, might help.

I'm saying "sometimes", because there are people who shut up after an argument, when you show them that you are not going to take any more of their bull****, and only mutter afterwards, silently ^^

But there are also people with whom there is no living together after an argument and I personally think, it's better to ignore them. Don't step down to their level.

Your manis look awesome! I just went back a few pages and I'm saying AWESOME!!!

So ... in short words ... to hell with that B**** ;)
You rock!

Deborah said...

What a stupid, rude, childish comment. Really, of you don't like something, you can always say so in a normal way, or just shut up.

I like the outcome and there is nothing "high school" about it!

s. said...

The mani is cute, pretty, without being too obvious. I quite like it! Her rude and uncalled for comment is what's "so high school" ugh really. People like that get nothing but a smile and nod from me because I refuse to play into their mean games.

I haven't been reading here long enough to know what kind of lab you're in, but I'm an undergrad sci major right now and I find that in my lab I get the opposite - always comments about how they like my nails. Hopefully you don't let one jealous, miserable comment ruin your day. :)

RockyHorrorBirthday said...

I think this is very pretty, not tacky, and you know who is SO high school? Your labmate for speaking to a grown-up woman like that. Ignore her and life will be better!

L.A. Ex-Pat said...

When someone tries to bring you down it's hard to see it objectivley. But these are sad people. And everyone can see it, even if they don't say anything. And these mean girls can feel it too. I had a few mean girls in my Ph.D. program who would gossip about me (I did NOTHING Scandalous) always ask me strange questions and say mean things. I never experienced this in High School and they were graduate students. Turns out they were insecure girls that thought they had made it and were finally better than everyone else when they were in grad. school. Only to have someone in their face, just as smart, yet social, well liked and actually had dates. As a graduate student you are really emotionally vulnerable and it hurt at the time, but my success both personally and professionally kills them now. And other people in my cohort finally started sharing their similar experiences with them too. It's true, what goes around comes around.

--CVD

Pretty said...

ehh! I hate people like that...
Girlfriend was obviously jealous of you.
Your nails are fab...and she just wanted to make you feel bad about yourself.
Don't be nice to her... she doesn't deserve such things. Ehh I swear! I hate people like that. I used to be 'nice' to people like that but I realized that they use your sweetness/niceness against you. Just ignore and enjoy your nail fabness!

Nicole said...

Gosh, I hope you can get a new lab partner. It's not an atmosphere conducive to learning when you feel insulted constantly by your partner! :(
I absolutely love your manicure, the nude is lovely and that one nail of bling is perfect. I love accent nails myself - and I'm almost forty years old! I recently read an article that if you're over forty you shouldn't wear glitter if you want to be taken seriously. O_o I guess they're implying glitter is immature - I completely disagree. Keep rocking your awesome manicures!

Liz said...

Wow just ignore people like that. You have 1874 followers who follow you because they love your manis and think you are classy and awesome. She is obviously jealous. I love your mani and everyone else here does too. Don't waste your time, getting down on comments like that. <3

nekosan said...

*sigh* I'm sorry about that; i know what you mean about being crushed by a comment like that. The only way I know how to deal with people like that is to ignore/avoid them as much as possible - really hard in your situation! If i were you, i'd be tempted to snap back "No, we're not in High School, so why don't YOU stop ACTING like it!" - tho that would just be fuel on the fire, most likely. *sigh*

Laurie said...

People like that make me so very sad for humanity. I'm going through the same thing with my fiance's boss of all people! The woman is twice my age but possesses the maturity level of an 11 year old girl. Ugh.

Try not to let a jealous comment from someone affect you too badly. I know it's a hard thing to tolerate, but you've been given tons of evidence here that your nails are fabulous!

My guess is that your partner was just looking for something different on which she could cruelly comment. Some people are like that, sadly.

You are lovely and have many fans. Think of us if and when that sourpuss opens her mouth again.

Anna said...

She's absolutely ridiculous. You always have the classiest, gorgeous manis. I love your sense of style! I *almost* did an accent thumb this weekend with Jazz and NARS Arabesque, remembering this mani.

Keep that fabulous head up *hugs*

ilexica said...

What a beeyotch. Who cares what someone wears on their nails? I am lucky that my only female work colleague is an absolute gem who is never slow to compliment and encourage, but women in my experience cam be crueller to each other than a man ever could.

Danica said...

Sounds like she isn't comfortable with herself, I think it's a great combo. I always think a nice "Thank you" after an insult kinda shuts it up. If their goal is to insult and they don't accomplish that goal time after time then they will stop attempting. Also... so what? We had some pretty awesome styles in high school right? lol, not really, but we sure tried! Sometimes I think it's okay to go back to those roots, just as long as it's not everyday. Enjoy what you like no matter if it's tacky, snobby, classy, or anything!

Adrianna said...

You are a very nice person, because someone grabbing my hand is enough to raise my hackles! As long as you like it, screw her.

CupK8 said...

I think it's a gorgeous mani. She obviously has some issues. Keep rocking those glitter accents! <3

Katy said...

You know what's so high school? Her behavior.

Kara said...

Pssshhh! Look at it this way: I'm in high school, and I love this blog and all the pretty nail polishes everyone shows (including your manicure today, Pound Cake looks so gorgeous! I want it now). I'd say I have pretty good nail polish taste, so if she says that's so high school, it's a compliment!

Lori said...

WTF??! Screw her! That was just completely uncalled for... there is nothing tacky about such a gorgeous gold polish! Ugh, I feel you though... it's hard not to take it personally when someone targets you in such a way. Just know that you have lots and lots of support and love here at PoP! <3

Sandi said...

What a skank. Doesn't sound like she's made it past jr high yet. And I love accent nails. Just for her I think my next one will be on my middle finger.

Sara said...

I'd be so annoyed by that, that I think I would probably start putting the accent color on my middle fingers. Hee-hee!!!

kittytokaren said...

Wow wow wow!!

Thank you, fabulous readers/commenters of PoP. You have really raised my spirits and made it easier for me to ignore this girl!! You are all so sweet and supportive - I'm just shocked by the outpouring of supportive comments. And who says the internet isn't personal?

To those who think I need a new lab partner - Gah, I wish that was the situation!! Unfortunately I'm a PhD student (aka full time researcher) in a lab, so it's more like a job and this girl is my colleague. No class period to end, no semester change. We are stuck with each other until one of us graduates.

Sandi - LOL @ your "new" accent mani ;) I love it.

To all of you - *HUGS*. I wish I could give each and every one of you a hug in person to thank you. You have no idea how much your comments have booster my confidence and morale. I love you all.

kittytokaren

Priscilla said...

I love your mani! Accent manis are cool, especially the thumb accent! Don't be discouraged by her comment, dear! Don't a pay any heed to her. Perhaps you could show her how much her comments are 'appreciated' by doing another accent mani ;)

Borde said...

Alas, research labs are refuges of some of the most antisocial people on the planet. High IQ does not equal great personality. I know from painful experience that even in a lab with Nobel quality output, a rotten apple can spoil the barrel. You, on the other hand, are kind and considerate--obviously one of the world's great people! And your nails! Truly the classic ideal. Your sense of style and taste in polish is sublime. Love your 4 + 1! In the movie version of your lab life I see you playing Cinderella opposite your bench mate's ugly stepsister! Don't let her grind you down!!

Angie said...

First of all....I LOVE the mani! I LOVE the thumb accent (I always use my ring, boring, I know!).

But wow, really rude! That's the kind of thing you keep to yourself if you really don't like it, which makes me believe she is jealous!

Danielle said...

This is gorgeous and elegant :) don't let people like that get to you.

Barbara said...

I'm in high school, and if I ever meet her I'd wave a thumb accented mani in her face. I'd probably stab her eyes with my thumbs while I'm at it too. I think your mani looks amazing. I don't do accents much mainly because my preference is consistency, but I do like spark de triomphe a lot. :D
Next time I'd retort back. Or just say that it's none of her business :P

Angela said...

wow seriously rude! I'm right with what Grace said Grace said...
"would have told her that snotty unprompted remarks about other people are pretty 'high school', too, not to mention bad manners. Then I'd wear nothing but thumb accent manis for at least 2 weeks" That made me laugh really. It looks great. We <3 your nails. Stay classy ; )

Laikabear said...

It's sad how many comments you got - because we ALL have dealt with these toxic beeyotches, and unfortunately they still can be found after high school. Man I was getting worked up just reading your story. Grrrr.

I have 2 coworkers that have made negative comments on my nails. The first one, in a sweet way, to tell me she hates my green manicures (not at a time I was wearing green). I have teased her by wearing more green.

2nd coworker just says things like "Oh, I would never have TIME to do my nails like you do," but she says it in a really snooty way like I'm just some lazy slob who has nothing important to do so I can sit around doing frivolous things like my nails. It's RUDE and I just ignore, ignore, ignore. One of these days I'm totally going to snap at her though.

Why oh why do women feel the need to cut other women down? And it's usually people you know (friends, coworkers, relatives) more than from complete strangers. If any of the MEN I work with notice that I do my nails a lot and they think it's frivolous, they have the common sense to STFU and not say anything.

So sorry you have to work with this creep. But I think you HAVE to do at least 2 weeks of nothing but accent nail manis with holos or glitter. DO IT!!! :)

Lyolya said...

So true about the women cruelty! Same here. There and everywhere.

This mani is BEAUTIFUL, I will do a similar one but with sparkles on a ring finger. Don't let the beast bring you down, she propably has a problem, not you.

Em said...

Oh my god, what a nasty, nasty girl!!!! I agree with everyone, I think she's just jealous. She's probably really bad at nails or has awful nails!!!

I think it's an awesome mani!! So pretty and the accent thumb really sets it off.

ggggg said...

I believe that this does stem from jealousy. A woman I work with always compliments me when I wear a certain navy blue polish that I wear. She really loves it and says how nice it looks on but when I suggest that she can do that, too, she just says that she can't and swoons over mine.

This co-worker of yours choses another route and insults you for it. Either way, each of these ladies cannot do what you do, for whatever reason.

Wear your choices proudly. Karma is quite a friend in these situations. Just ignore her - lack of emotion for someone is the worst kind of torture.

Thanh-Tu said...

Being mean is so very high school too. Tell her that.

First time commenter, long time reader and this is actually one of my fave manicures from you.

Plus I work in a lab. SO TAKE THAT.

kateypie35 said...

I am late, but just wanted to send a hug. My parents taught me MANNERS. If I don't like something, I keep my yap shut, because what is the point of making another person feel bad? Over nail polish??? That girl is lacking in any sort of social grace. I actually feel bad for her, she is clearly a miserable human being. Ignore her. I like the mani - it is so pretty...the sparkly thumb gives it a little sass while still being sophisticated! May have to try it myself, and I am 40. Wayyyy past high school. :)

Musings from Manhattan said...

In my opinion, there are "trends" in nail polish, just like there are "trends" in other fashion. And right now, accent nails are totally trendy. So, whatever, she just doesn't know what she's talking about. You're just nail fashion forward. I like nails for that very reason. I'm not super fashion forward with my clothes, but I am with my nails.

Piff said...

Hey K2k - I'd like to reiterate everyone else's thoughts. But add a different one.

I was right along with you thinking "what a biatch" until the last line. I'm not sure I like it. It's a quick inference to women are cruel but men aren't. Which isn't the case.

RockyHorrorBirthday said...

I didn't think the last line meant men are not cruel. I took it as a feminist comment, as in women *should* stick together.

Lucy said...

Jealousy is the basis for her rude and hurtful comments. You know we love you here and never think your tacky. I love the thumb accent. I usually do the ring finger. Must try the thumb.

Zara said...

Psh, what does she know? You rnails look great! And Piff, I see where you're coming from, but I think women are cruel in a different, sometimes more underhanded way which can be more hurtful.

contests and such said...

I'm wearing a thumb accent right now! Love 'em! Especially since my thumb nails are shorter than the other nails ATM.

Ruthlessrocks said...

Just because you aren't stooping to her level doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself. Next time she offers an unsolicited opinion simply say

"I didn't ask for your opinion on my appearance. So don't give it"

Janna said...

just to reiterate, don't listen to her! These are the ultimate in class =] She probably had naked nails anyway.

Mariana said...

Pssh, little does she know this type of manicure is hailed everywhere from Cosmo to Vogue, and glitter is popular on runways from Chanel to Jeremy Scott. She's definitely jealous she doesn't have the style or the self-assurance to pull off such a great look.
The manicure is awesome, so are you, and she's just spiteful!

TikiBwana said...

Gawd, I cannot stand people like that. My daughter changes her nails every day and is always getting catty comments from other women like..."I wish I had time to do that...".... "Yeah, well, you could also take the time to bathe and brush your hair" is what she could tell them. She sounds like someone too insecure and lazy to do something like that, so she puts others down. People who do that are unhappy with themselves.

deetzi said...

Ok so your nails are tacky but constantly making nasty comments to someone you work with is classy? Please don't spend another minute of your life thinking about this person or being hurt by what she says. Who made her the arbiter of "taste". If your appearance is appropiate for your workplace, her opinion is nothing but a string of words. Either ignore her ie blank stare anytime she does it or tell her something along the lines of I was taught to say nothing is I have nothing nice to say. Annoying coworkers are unfortunately a fact of life and btw I think your manicure is cute.

sparris said...

Well, you've inspired me to try thumb accents with your pretty mani! Just ignore your stupid lab mate, she's not worth your time. =)

A Well-Preserved Me said...

My response to tactless people like that is:
"uh...thanks for sharing."
I kinda dig the middle accent finger idea.

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